Unhealthy Relationships ~ Recognize Them and Make a Change

free yourself

Unhealthy love and a tendency to behave in an overly passive or excessively care taking way has a negative impact on one’s relationship’s and quality of life. Placing a lower priority on one’s own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others is cause for depleted energy level, ill health and depression.

Any type of relationship, including families, at work, in friendships, and also in romantic, peer or community relationship can be entangled in an unhealthy and debilitating manner making manipulation a common practice.

Often these unhealthy relationships are characterized by denial, low self-esteem, and a need for external approval. A person vibrating a sense of unhealthy self-love often attracts a person vibrating unhealthy self-absorption. What they have in common is a disturbance in the sense of self.

If you find yourself giving to no end and feeling depleted, it may be time for you to step back from your way of doing things and take a closer look at where and/or to whom you are giving so much of your energy. Clearly there is an imbalance. This is not the healthy natural way of the Universe. Healthy movement is “to and fro” “in and out” “give and receive.” Balance is fluid and healthy.

Let go and Take Care of Me” is the cry being made within us when we find ourselves stagnate, depleted and depressed. Listen to that cry for help and help yourself. It is vital to take the time to replenish the wellspring within. You owe it to yourself to recuperate, replenish and review your patterns of behavior. Explore the depth or level of self acceptance you possess. Any area you are not accepting yourself as you are is the gateway for guilt, manipulation, and pain. When you realize some of these areas send love to this part of you and care for it. Nurture it into a healthy expression of the divine being that you are. Then take an honest look at your relationships and the type of work you do. What brings you happiness, peace and a sense of wellness? What or who brings you down repeatedly?

Now that I see What do I do?

give yourself some roomWhen you discover and accept the reality that you are involved in an unhealthy relationship(s) the best first step you can take is to step back and away. It may lead you to leaving the relationships altogether however, initially that may feel like too much. If that is the case, start with small steps to create a little distance between you and the other, to gain some clarity, and reestablish a sense of self. This gives you room to recover, revitalize and review.

A good thing to remember is this: If the relationship is unhealthy for you, it is equally unhealthy for the other. Continuing in the same way is not doing you or them any favors. The one who is always receiving may try to convince you everything is fine but that is part of the manipulation. However, remember, the one who is always on the receiving end does not benefit. They are not being given the opportunity to find themselves and discover that they too have something to give. They will not be able to make a true connection with Source if they find you ready, willing, and able to comply with every request or demand they make. You then become their source of energy. This is unhealthy and unsustainable. Only True Source is the never ending supply of energy, abundance, joy, and inspiration. No person can be that for another.

A few questions to bravely answer honestly…

                             take your time…

*Am I giving out of guilt?
*Do I feel unworthy unless I make sure some one needs me?
*What is the true motivation for remaining in an unhealthy relationship?

*Do I believe I can make it on my own?

*Do I believe no one else will want me?

*Do I know what real happiness feels like?
*Am I happy?
*Is the other person (s) happy?
*What would happen if I began to do the things I really wanted to?

Rest and review:

When your energy has been replenished and you are well, feeling vital, confident and ready to re-emerge; choose to be involved in healthy relationships with both people and projects. This will be easy to do when you are true to yourself. Learn to listen to the calm inner voice of love. True connection to Source never leaves us totally depleted. We will hear the call for rest when needed and take it. We will hear the call to help others and be there fully supplied to offer love and support AND we will know when it is time to retreat and take care of ourselves. An empty vessel is helpful to no one. When you experience love over flowing, healthy relationships will be yours in abundance to share and to enjoy. Start with a healthy relationship with yourself and your Creator. All relationships are a reflection of this relationship. It is worth the time and the attention to make healthy self love and love of the Creator a priority resulting in healthier relationships all the way around.

may you be well and Live Life Whole Happy and Free!

Love, Astara

1 Comment to “Unhealthy Relationships ~ Recognize Them and Make a Change”

  1. By Alanna Morten, October 11, 2011 @ 11:40 am

    You’re blogging has really come on when I look back over previous posts. Actually I arrived here from a forum on an unrelated topic. Worth surfing sometimes. Thanks.

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