“The bright luminous beings that we are need not tarnish first to become the shining beacon of love that we are. It just so happens that for many of us this is what has happened. However, the trend need not continue with the new beings coming and the young ones here. We must share with them what we have learned about love through our actions then our words will carry potency from and into the heart of truth. ” Astara
We are quite aware of how our childhood has affected our adulthood. Many of us have done and continue to do extensive work clearing limiting beliefs, releasing blockages, learning and expressing real forgiveness as opposed to lip service and getting to know our true self. Now we are parents, grandparents or caregivers. Some of you are thinking about becoming parents. It is most important that we are awake and conscious when dealing with children or grandchildren. The influence a parent has on a child is undeniable. Hug them daily and tell them you love them. My son is now 20 and we still give each other hugs and from the heart say ” I love You” whenever we see one another. We make time to spend together and I am so grateful for our relationship.
Children pick up more than you realize:
What children see and hear impacts them. If what they hear and what they see don’t match they become confused. If they ask candid questions and don’t get the truth (discernment is an integral part of conscious parenting) they will feel the discrepancy but not understand it. They may begin denying there own intuition, start doubting themselves breaking the natural connection they have with God within. They may begin a path that is similar saying one thing but doing another, communicating in a way that is less than honest.
This is just one example but the main point here is this: We are the ones who have the responsibility and privilege to guide these young souls on their earth walk. Being the guardian of these souls includes providing them with good nutrition and a safe harmonious environment. As they get older we are to guide them with exercise to care for the body, teach them life skills so they understand what it is to actively be part of the family unit or tribe as I like to call it. Pay attention and use discretion regarding their audio visual entertainment to care for the mind, guide them to experience healthy alone time. If alone time is only seen as a punishment it will be difficult for them to spend time by themselves as they get older.
Most importantly they need our unconditional love, time, attention and acknowledgement. We are to see them as the unique individuals that they are and support them in that. They are not us and we are not them. Do not break their Will, but instead accept them for who they are, guide them, love them, set healthy boundaries and expand those boundaries as they grow. And by all means pray for them daily.
Be a Good Example:
The best way for conscious parenting to become a natural process is to heal ourselves. Accept the realization that taking care of ourselves and aiming toward a balanced lifestyle is very important for us and our children’s well being. Children learn by our example. What kind of a role model are you for the children in your life? I ask this question in the hope that you will ponder it. Are you patient, honest and kind? Are you quick to anger or offer harsh criticism? Do you sound like your mother or father? If so, is that really you or a shadow of your history playing itself out? Are you absent mentally or emotionally a great deal of the time? Do you take time to talk with them? Talking with them is not giving a lecture or listening halfheartedly, it is engaging, making eye contact, being present, sharing the day or discussing a challenge.
All children look for boundaries and most often they do this by pushing the limits of what they currently know. As they grow, new healthy boundaries need to be set. Never underestimate the impact of good manners. Before you know it they will be making choices based on what they have learned. By the time a child is 15 they have set many things into motion. This does not mean they do not need any guidance but it does mean they will be exploring life in a way that helps them feel independent. Of course, at this age they are still very much dependent upon parents or caregivers for the basics but that may not stop them from stretching out. At this age they have had many influences. Have you been paying attention?
If you have little ones in your care treat them with all the love and awareness you are capable of. Remember, you are the one they look up to and will imitate. The “tough teens” do not have to be tough. What you will experience will be an extension of the relationship you have created. If you have teenagers and it is rough going it is still an extension of the relationship you created. Do not be hard on yourself or them. Everyone ( parent and child) has done the best they can up to this point.
Believe a good relationship is possible:
I believe it is never too late to connect with your children. What we believe is true for us. If you have a challenging relationship with your child/children do you believe it is hopeless or do you believe your love will find a way to mend the relationship discovering new meaningful ways to connect? I ask this because it is important for you to know what you think and believe. What you believe will effect the outcome.
Love is at the Core:
Parents love their children and children love their parents. This is the way it begins, this is what resonates at the core of every parent/child relationship. This may not appear to be true for you now but take a moment and remember your child when he or she was a baby, a toddler and so on. At the core there is love. If it is not apparent now begin to stoke the ember of love until you can find your way to the flame of love. This flame will light your way guiding you to create a healthy relationship once again.
The children are the future, they are precious and unique. They have something special to bring to this planet. More children are on pharmaceutical drugs now then ever before. There is something very wrong with this. Think about it. Choose well.
I leave you with this beautiful passage from Kahlil Gibran.
It speaks volumes about parents and children from a deep and meaningful perspective.
I hope it touches you as it did me.
Beautiful Passage by Kahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children,
they are the sons and daughters of
life’s longing for itself.
They come through you
but not from you.
And though they are with you
yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love
but not your thoughts,
for they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies
but not their soul,
for their soul belongs in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit
not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite
and he bends you with his might
that his arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the Archer’s hand be for gladness,
for even as he loves the arrow that flies,
so he loves also the bow that is stable.